“A sense of duty is useful in work, but offensive in personal relations. People wish to be liked, not to be endured with patient resignation.” – Conquest of Happiness (1930) ch. 10
Your duty is to do everything you can to avoid anything that might conflict with your mission in life.
Being a man of action and a man on mission puts you in a position to offend some people in your family.
At some point, you’ll either have to avoid some of them in order to succeed or keep them, knowing that they might ruin you.
A human being is one of the most dangerous specie on this planet.
People ruin each other all the time for no good reason.
Humanity is a concept that is understood and preached by most, but only a few practice it.
“If others say one thing, but do another, you are lying to yourself if you don’t listen to their actions. – Don Miguel Ruiz
Believe the actions of the people you interact with.
No matter how much they lie or pretend: if you observe their actions and use common sense, you will know exactly how to deal with them.
I deal with people certain people differently. Their actions determine how I treat them and interact with them.
I have no time to express frustrations and complaints when I could simply avoid the person.
I’ll cut off communication with that individual, or call them out, which will make them straighten up their act or push them away—which is a blessing.
You have to draw the line, family or not.
Your mission depends on your ability to screen and avoid certain people. Some people made it, but got ruined along the way by their own family.
Why you think you need family
We are all addicted to family; we love that sense of belonging, and want to be part of anything that validates our existence.
This stands reason as why most of us are average… and most of us will never be the source of great achievement.
Most men will often choose the politically correct thing (sacrificing their mission for their family) over what’s best for them.
Your mission comes first, and your family will either support you with their loyalty and respect, or they will do their best to make sure you remain average—intentionally or unintentionally.
You don’t need family, what you need is a razor-sharp mindset and focus on your mission, and whoever that wants to be part of your life has to qualify—you can’t afford baggage.
The good family
Every family has one or two good and reliable members.
For such people, you should always be grateful for all they’ve for you, but never let the things they’ve done for you in the past serve a pass for the bad things they do to you today.
Never sacrifice your future for things of the past.
The future is the product of the past, so let the past remain in the past because the future is here today, and what matters is how people treat you today.
Some people might have been good in the past, but doesn’t guarantee that they might remain the same—people change.
Circumstances and bad choices can turn a good person into an evil and heartless individual.
Good people make bad choices too
When all the good folks in your family fall victim to their own choices, it’s not your responsibility to save them—let them save themselves first, and then help where it is necessary.
I once had a good cousin, but she made some bad choices.
I tried to reach out to her in many ways, but I didn’t succeed, so I had to let her be.
I won’t make any sacrifice that has any chance of ruining my future.
What do you value most?
Your family or your future?
If it is family, then it means you don’t value yourself or your mission enough.
That needs to change because your mission can improve your life and the lives of the people in your family.
If you choose your mission, then it is important to know how to deal with every single member of your family.
Avoid the bad ones, and appreciate and keep the good ones.
“Prevention is better than cure”
Avoiding bad people is much better than trying to change them.
Everybody makes their own choices, and therefore, we all should deal the consequences of our actions and decisions.
Don’t feel an ounce of guilt for doing what’s best for you.
As a man of action, it’s your duty to protect yourself from the indictment of other people’s bad choices and mistakes—more especially your family.
When it comes to survival, the weak would do anything to get by. By weak, I don’t necessarily mean weak as in strength, but weak in character.
Jealousy, envy, and hate always get the best of people who are weak in character.
In my experience, every family has more weak individuals, than ones with strong character.
This is the reason why you always screen out and avoid those who have the potential to ruin your future.
Your worst enemy is in your family, he/she knows almost everything about you, and that’s all he/she needs to destroy you.
Therefore, discretion is necessary.
Be discreet about your personal affairs and your plans; learn to share all your thoughts and plans with your truest family: you.
You are the only friend and family that’s worth trusting. It’s much better to mislead yourself than to be misled and betrayed by your own family.
Your plans, ideas, visions, and successes are confidential—they are your secret.
If you tell your secret, then it’s no longer a secret, but a broken bond.
Being discreet protects you from all sorts of drama. Sharing your visions and successes opens the door for hate, envy, jealousy, and eventually… ruin…
Only reveal your visions and ideas to people who have the capacity and intellect to improve them and take them further.
Being overly vulnerable and compulsively open about your weaknesses, fears, and feelings won’t improve your character for the better or make you strong.
That makes you even weaker and easy to use and manipulate.
Keeping your feelings to yourself makes you strong.
When you got your shit together mentally, you’ll realize how petty and infantile feelings are—they change all the damn time.
There’s a time and a place for feelings, but when it comes to your mission/purpose, feelings have no place.
“Feelings” are a man’s worst enemy and a door manipulative people use to their benefit.
Learn to override your feelings with rational thoughts.
For example, whenever I get all in my feelings about any situation, I always remind myself how blessed I am to be alive.
I wouldn’t be in any situation if I was dead—would I?
If a situation doesn’t kill me, then I don’t care how I feel because I always have a choice.
You can always do better no matter your situation.
Override and ignore your feelings and only use them to evaluate yourself in terms of growth and self-improvement.
A man’s life
A man’s life can be a lonely road if he travels it with ghosts.
Some people are ghosts, they might be there with you, but don’t really exist.
There only group of people I would consider the loneliest, are the ones who have ghosts for a family.
But ghosts have a role too, and that role is unknown.
Some people think they have a family, but in reality, what they have is a clan of ghosts—it’s only a matter of time.
You are a man of action, you don’t need ghosts…
Your mission/purpose is your friend and your family.
Victor pride (Founder of Bold&Determined) is a good example: He left everything behind to live in an island all by himself, his mission was his only family, and still is till to this day.
Note: Three of his books are on the side bar.
What you need a good role model like him and follow in his footsteps.
Victor Pride is one of the great men who achieve great things on their own.
You should aspire to become that kind of a man who relies on no one but himself.
“There’s a sense of soulful fulfillment when a man goes on a mission alone and has no one but himself to rely upon to see to its completion.” – Ian Ironwood
If you are a regular reader of my blog, you are familiar with this quote. I’ve used it on a couple of articles.
This quote defines the purpose of this blog, which is to motivate men to go on a mission alone and see it through.
You will never find satisfaction in leisure or family reunions, but you will be completely satisfied when your mission is accomplished.
Until next time…
– Emmanuel Morewa
Here’s a link to part one: Definition Of Family: Core Values For Building A Family