Most self-help gurus assert that confidence comes from certainty, but that’s not true.
Certainty comes from the experience you get learning by trial and error, which ultimately builds confidence in your ability do something.
There’s no shortcut to success, but there are many ways to succeed, and they all require the same thing: the ability to learn and take action, and also the ability to handle failure and rejection positively.
Positive thinking is supplement to action—not the action.
People use meditation and affirmations to avoid taking the required action to get what they want. They think more than they act because it doesn’t take much effort to imagine than it does to actually take action.
We all know what we have to do to succeed, but be we often seek out shortcuts and easy ways to meet our unrealistic expectations—being certain won’t solve the problem.
Certainty alone won’t manifest the desired outcome, but there is potential in certainty when it’s applied correctly, combined with action, and detachment to outcome.
If you take action with certainty that things will work on your favor, but then get the opposite results—you will be disappointed if you had certain attachments to that outcome.
Certainty works great when applied in a broad sense, meaning you don’t it placed it on one encounter, but you place it in your ability to get the desired outcome no matter how many times you fail or how long it might take.
When you meet a woman and automatically assume that you’ll end up with her because of her body language and the things she says. Chances are, it might not happen, and that kind of certainty is nothing but a silly assumption, it is unrealistic, and it is a recipe for disappointment.
A Good approach for you is to be confident in your ability to attract the women you desire, whether it’s her or the next woman, it doesn’t matter. As you continue to grow and improve, it will happen at some point—and that’s certainty.
If you fail, but still remain certain and optimistic in your ability to achieve, you will achieve that goal at some point, not matter how long it might take.
How certainty develops
Certainty develops subconsciously.
You can read any good book and learn as much as can, but without constant experimenting—you will not succeed not matter how certain you are.
Certainty is earned through experience.
He also learned from experience that some sales are impossible and some aren’t worth the time, and he is OK with that.
Experience teaches best
Any successful salesman knows subtle cues and behaviors of potential clients because he had the opportunity to experiment with different clients, but he also understands that he has no control over the outcome.
You need to experiment because your subconscious needs that proof, for it mold, solidify, and shape you into the man who attracts, instead being a man who chases but never gets what he wants.
Yes, you can “fake it till you make it” because you have to act as if; while you do what it takes to make it.
Your subconscious mind is more powerful than your conscious mind. The subconscious mind is a builder, it is always building with the information it receives from your actions, and most importantly: your thoughts and feelings about your actions and the results.
Experience is the only thing that you can use to prove all the negative thoughts and self-image wrong—not books or positive thinking.
You can read as many books you want and be certain as much as you want, but if you don’t experiment, you won’t get anything in the end.
Ability is certainty
There is being certain and being delusional.
Some people think that they only have to be certain in order to get the results they want, when they lack the skill or ability required to get such results in the first place.
Such people never last in the game because all of the disappointments and failures caused by the lack of skill and attachment to outcome.
If you know you don’t have the skill, but expect to get the same results as someone who is highly skilled, you will be disappointed, and certainty won’t help at all.
Developing the ability to do something creates certainty. There’s no way around it, you can’t just read a couple of books and become an overnight success—you have to experiment.
I’m certain that if I continue to write, learn, apply, and keep improving: I will be successful in terms of experience and improvement in the field of writing, which will ultimately attract and manifest the end-goal of my mission.
You have to be certain that you can learn anything and be great at it. No matter how much you fail, you will get better with time and you will have your movement.
Be certain about your ability to achieve because you have control over your actions—not the outcome.
Whatever it is that you want to achieve, be certain that you will find your way through it—not around it.
Until next time…
– Emmanuel Morewa